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lyrics

there lives an old hag in my neighbour
i always help her carrying her shopping bags
because we live on the fourth floor
and we don't have an elevator

one time she invited me for a coffee
i didn't want to be rude, so i agreed
her house was full of cats and smelled like piss
and that coffee tasted like shit

suddenly that old bitch grabbed a kitchen knife
she dropped her pants, revealing her saggy cunt
she roared: "now boy, start licking this twat
or you'll leave here without your balls!"

i had no choice but start licking that ancient muff
a pussy full of yeast, thick mucus, smegma and some parasite worms
covered in sparse, grey pubic hair with crabs
the reek and the taste was something i cannot describe

cops won't believe me when i tell them i was raped by a 80-year-old granny

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