1. |
Shemale Roadkill
02:27
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i'm jerking off in my car
but my hand doesn't satisfy me enough this time
i drive to a back alley and start lurking on pedestrians
finally, a fine looking girl walks by
dressed like a whore and hot as fuck
i wanna fuck that bitch right now
i push the pedal to the metal and run over that fucking slut
i drag her body in my car
i start taking off her clothes
WHAT THE FUCK is that a
PENIS? oh my god
i don't even like shemales
but i'm so horny and in a hurry
because hannah montana starts on the disney channel soon
so i'll fuck him
sucking his dick
fingering his
butthole
shit
does he even wipe his butt?
i think not
disgusting
i stick my dick in
i am fucking his poopy asshole
what the fuck am i doing right now
am i gay? HELL NO!
i'm a straight, patriotic white man
now get the fuck out of my car you fucking freak
what the hell was i thinking?
that was gay
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2. |
Bug Catching Party
02:39
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i like bugs
my favourite bug is scutigera coleoptrata
they are predators of lepisma saccharina
that's very nice 'cause my house swarms of silverfishes
i have three coleoptratas in my bug collection
one day i was browsing the internet
i ended up on a site about bug catchers
they were about to have a party
that sounds fun, i'll have to join them
why is everyone naked here at the party
oh my goodness are those men having sex?
i'm becoming suspicious, is this about bugs at all?
i google "bug cathing urban dictionary"
too late! they spotted me
and now those horny men are approaching me
one guy grabs my belt
i stutter, trying to say that i was mistaken
one guy starts to suck my cock and
i think that dude's gonna penetrate me
he bends me over and puts his dick in
other men are jerking off in background
covered in cum
infected with
multiple STDs
worst party ever
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3. |
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amortized extrafibrillar matrix
necrotic ground substance
mechanoreceptors provides the sense of no fear
moldy sebaceous glands, musty apocrine glands
metabolic waste, mucus
excrement, urinary
percolates through porous substance
percolates through dead skin
epidermolysis bullosa
critical, terminal eczema
erupted, inflammated
epidermis swarmed by tumors
moldy sebaceous glands, musty apocrine glands
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4. |
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a local bar. i'm so fucking drunk
and it feels like somebody, somebody
put something in my drink and that
something was propably LSD
i'm not feeling too great but like
i've always said: always look on
the bright side of life;
the LSD was free
suddenly a terrible urge overwhelms me
i'm an alpha male and i need to
fuck dem bitches right in the pussy
i'm the alpha fucking male yeah
i'm feeling so fucking attractive
i could get whoever i want
i'm gonna score the hottest girl
in the bar and later fuck her brains out
then there's a blackout, i can't remember what happened
but we ended up in her place and had sex
i wake up it's 10 am and
i'm gonna throw up very soon
i turn around to see what's next to me
oh my god, did i just fuck that?
how come she was so pretty last night
and now shes a fucking whale? i must have been
fucking wasted. i need to leave and
must not wake her up
on second thought
i'm short of money
they used human fat
to make soap in fight club
kitchen knife
stomach fat
slice and dice
hangover
ugly whore
left to die
human soap
???
profit
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5. |
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bartholin's glands are secreting stinking mucus
lubricating decaying, moldy vaginal skin
squelching sounds of rotten pussy
obnoxious buzzing of flies
i'm fingering the slimy carrion
repulsive. but i'm so horny
a foul odor caused by breeding bacteria,
mold, emission of cavaderine, putrescine
she's begging a cock inside her
with her beautiful mashed eyes
she's dead, her face is smashed with hammer
but i can hear, she's begging it
i'm sticking my smegmy penis into this sexy carcass
abhorrent smell of rotten pussy
malodorous stink of dick cheese
i'm making love with this little dead bitch
nefandous. but i'm so horny
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6. |
Granny Next Door
02:54
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there lives an old hag in my neighbour
i always help her carrying her shopping bags
because we live on the fourth floor
and we don't have an elevator
one time she invited me for a coffee
i didn't want to be rude, so i agreed
her house was full of cats and smelled like piss
and that coffee tasted like shit
suddenly that old bitch grabbed a kitchen knife
she dropped her pants, revealing her saggy cunt
she roared: "now boy, start licking this twat
or you'll leave here without your balls!"
i had no choice but start licking that ancient muff
a pussy full of yeast, thick mucus, smegma and some parasite worms
covered in sparse, grey pubic hair with crabs
the reek and the taste was something i cannot describe
cops won't believe me when i tell them i was raped by a 80-year-old granny
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