Horrible Hangover - Promo​/​EP​/​Whatever

by Maximize The Anal Hemorrhage

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credits

released July 24, 2016

Guitars, bass guitar, vocals, drum programming, composing, lyrics, "mixing", album art by Quantimil Krabola
Additional vocals in track 3 by Annika
Special thanks to käpy and Teemu for proofreading the lyrics

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Track Name: Shemale Roadkill
i'm jerking off in my car
but my hand doesn't satisfy me enough this time
i drive to a back alley and start lurking on pedestrians

finally, a fine looking girl walks by
dressed like a whore and hot as fuck
i wanna fuck that bitch right now
i push the pedal to the metal and run over that fucking slut

i drag her body in my car
i start taking off her clothes
WHAT THE FUCK is that a
PENIS? oh my god

i don't even like shemales
but i'm so horny and in a hurry
because hannah montana starts on the disney channel soon

so i'll fuck him

sucking his dick
fingering his
butthole
shit
does he even wipe his butt?
i think not
disgusting

i stick my dick in
i am fucking his poopy asshole

what the fuck am i doing right now
am i gay? HELL NO!
i'm a straight, patriotic white man
now get the fuck out of my car you fucking freak

what the hell was i thinking?
that was gay
Track Name: Bug Catching Party
i like bugs
my favourite bug is scutigera coleoptrata
they are predators of lepisma saccharina
that's very nice 'cause my house swarms of silverfishes
i have three coleoptratas in my bug collection

one day i was browsing the internet
i ended up on a site about bug catchers
they were about to have a party
that sounds fun, i'll have to join them

why is everyone naked here at the party
oh my goodness are those men having sex?
i'm becoming suspicious, is this about bugs at all?
i google "bug cathing urban dictionary"

too late! they spotted me
and now those horny men are approaching me
one guy grabs my belt
i stutter, trying to say that i was mistaken

one guy starts to suck my cock and
i think that dude's gonna penetrate me
he bends me over and puts his dick in
other men are jerking off in background

covered in cum
infected with
multiple STDs
worst party ever
Track Name: Amortized Extrafibrillar Matrix
amortized extrafibrillar matrix
necrotic ground substance

mechanoreceptors provides the sense of no fear
moldy sebaceous glands, musty apocrine glands

metabolic waste, mucus
excrement, urinary
percolates through porous substance
percolates through dead skin

epidermolysis bullosa
critical, terminal eczema
erupted, inflammated
epidermis swarmed by tumors

moldy sebaceous glands, musty apocrine glands
Track Name: A Horrible Hangover And Some Soap
a local bar. i'm so fucking drunk
and it feels like somebody, somebody
put something in my drink and that
something was propably LSD

i'm not feeling too great but like
i've always said: always look on
the bright side of life;
the LSD was free

suddenly a terrible urge overwhelms me
i'm an alpha male and i need to
fuck dem bitches right in the pussy
i'm the alpha fucking male yeah

i'm feeling so fucking attractive
i could get whoever i want
i'm gonna score the hottest girl
in the bar and later fuck her brains out

then there's a blackout, i can't remember what happened
but we ended up in her place and had sex

i wake up it's 10 am and
i'm gonna throw up very soon
i turn around to see what's next to me
oh my god, did i just fuck that?

how come she was so pretty last night
and now shes a fucking whale? i must have been
fucking wasted. i need to leave and
must not wake her up


on second thought
i'm short of money
they used human fat
to make soap in fight club

kitchen knife
stomach fat
slice and dice
hangover

ugly whore
left to die
human soap
???
profit
Track Name: Repulsive Decaying Vagina
bartholin's glands are secreting stinking mucus
lubricating decaying, moldy vaginal skin

squelching sounds of rotten pussy
obnoxious buzzing of flies
i'm fingering the slimy carrion
repulsive. but i'm so horny

a foul odor caused by breeding bacteria,
mold, emission of cavaderine, putrescine

she's begging a cock inside her
with her beautiful mashed eyes
she's dead, her face is smashed with hammer
but i can hear, she's begging it
i'm sticking my smegmy penis into this sexy carcass

abhorrent smell of rotten pussy
malodorous stink of dick cheese
i'm making love with this little dead kid
nefandous. but i'm so horny
Track Name: Granny Next Door
there lives an old hag in my neighbour
i always help her carrying her shopping bags
because we live on the fourth floor
and we don't have an elevator

one time she invited me for a coffee
i didn't want to be rude, so i agreed
her house was full of cats and smelled like piss
and that coffee tasted like shit

suddenly that old bitch grabbed a kitchen knife
she dropped her pants, revealing her saggy cunt
she roared: "now boy, start licking this twat
or you'll leave here without your balls!"

i had no choice but start licking that ancient muff
a pussy full of yeast, thick mucus, smegma and some parasite worms
covered in sparse, grey pubic hair with crabs
the reek and the taste was something i cannot describe

cops won't believe me when i tell them i was raped by a 80-year-old granny